No it's not a new stock index, it's time again for the Earl Quotes of
the Week. This week we will try a new format. There will be no
attributions to each quote. The object is to guess who that wacky Earl
is.

First prize is a ticket to the Earl banquet.
Second prize is a front row seat at Indy.
Third prize is a fully sponsored ride at Indy.



1. Earlspeak about Baseball and OW Oval racing:

"Looking at the big picture we have Indy and Indy car racing solidly
and finally back to where it belongs and the Cubs back to their
rightful dominance of 1908. All I can think is somehow the gods of
racing and the gods of baseball got together and decided it was about
time to create a perfect world."

Earlwatcher: He gets it wrong about baseball and racing in the same
sentence? A new sports error stat?



2. Earlspeak about describing 2003 IRL VS CART Safety:

"Dunno what the CART record has been but it's totally meaningless as
any sort of comparison."

Earlwatcher: A meaningless safety record? Is that a "bad" thing in
EARLand? Or is the comparison supposed to be against professional
billiard's.



3. Earlspeak of a response to a Nascar fan's revelation about
watching only one Earlrace a year, the Indy 500:

"Man, I think you're precisely the sort of racing fan Tony George is
looking for."

Earlwatcher: Those Earls sure know what race is the only Earlrace
anyone watches.



4. Earlspeak of an Earls view of F1:

"I didn't know any of the drivers and I could hardly say any of the
names."

Earlwatcher: Monosyllabic words confuse most Earls.



5. Earlspeak addressing the safety of IRL's 2003 cars:

"I've said several times I wouldn't strap myself into one of those
machines and go racing without a death wish."

Earlwatcher: These Earls know how to enjoy a Sunday afternoon.


6. Earlspeak of the superior flight dynamics of the Earl Air force.

"Nobody's yet quite sure exactly what happened. There have
been reports Renna slipped down into the infield grass while entering
the turn and upon reentry to the surface the front end lifted causing
the car to lift and launch. Get a NASCAR stocker to lift at 220MPH
and it too will fly."

Earlwatcher: No comment will be made addressing the demise of a racer
to gain a political point by this Earlwatcher. Earls have no such
morals, only laws to protect themselves.

The problem is that the winners get Injury Racing League prizes...who the hell
wants any of those "crapwagon" prizes?