To the Tune of "Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah"

There's a bloke we can't stand any longer
Always on the bleedin' moan.

Every time we mend his bloody Beemer,
He starts groaning on the phone.

First, we fixed his car's ignition,
Checked his brakes and clutch and then

Overhauled his whole transmission.
He just brought it back again.

Chorus:

Terry Maxwell, Terry Maxwell
He can stick it up his bum....up his bum.
He can bugger off to kingdom come.