"A. Jones" <ajones (AT) intrtek (DOT) com> wrote
Quote:
NASCAR's Helton responds to Earnhardt's complaints
Chris Jenkins, Ap Sports Writer
BROOKLYN, Mich. - NASCAR president Mike Helton agrees with Dale
Earnhardt Jr. that the sport should always be looking for ways to
improve. Where he differs is over Earnhardt's suggestion that NASCAR's
redesigned race car needs wholesale changes. |
It is all a waste of time. Ask some 18-34 year old guy who probably could
not find the oil filter on his own car if he is more interested in NASCAR or
Mixed Martial Arts? At least 99% of them will say Mixed Martial Arts. Even
in North Carolina.
Auto racing is going the way of harness racing in terms of popularity. All
ages, all genders, all places.
Here is an open memo to Helton,
Mike,
How is it going, bro? Some rough meetings over there in Ormond Falls? I
feely ya. These damn kids only care about some trash sport called MMA
(don't ask) and the few smart ones only care about sports where they can
play fantasy leagues (no, not that sort of fantasy).
Here is what you ought to do....
Keep the Bristol night race. Have the other 35 races start at noon on
Sunday. Have the pregame show start and 11:45 on Sunday. That would be a
great help in stemming the decline.
Get some chick drivers and some drivers other than Busch and Logano who are
under 34. You need more of that 18-34 demographic. Bill Elliott is not
hot stuff to the fans any longer.
Keep the Daytona 500 at 500 miles. Keep the road races as they are.
Shorten the other races. A lot.
Put the Southern 500 back on Labor Day weekend. Just shorten it to 500km.
I know that rain is a pain in the ass. But I got that all figured out for
you. Have every team buy one set of rain tires from Goodluck. When it
starts to rain pit all of the field and have them gas up and put on them
rain tires. Then just run some laps behind the Official Hyundai Pace Car
and eliminate every idiot (Busch and Speed) who spin out and keep on
eliminating them until they all either spin one time or run out of gas. The
last one running is the winner. An added benefit is that it will eliminate
the expense of those noisy jet dryers. Let if be wet. And see if you can
get Michael Shumacher to drive the pace car. That would make it a barnfull
of fun. If he is busy, do not worry. Danica Patrick should be looking for
work soon when that league folds.
And with all of the money I have just made for you and saved you I would
like you to spend about five hundred dollar per week to hire some Asian or
Indian geek to fix your website.
If there is anything else I can do, let me know.
Remember the days of Brooke Gordon and Dale Earnhardt? Those were the days,
big buddy.
Late.