So I'm sitting around in my shop the other day after all the work was done
just wasting time with my co workers telling stories and such. One of the
guys here got the rare opportunity to go for a ride in an F-16 (the
airframe we work) as an incentive earlier this year for a job well done.
He was telling tales of 7g banks through the canyons outside of Nellis AFB
NV (couldn't pull 9 because of a sniper pod and fuel tanks), split esses,
Immelmans, and barrel rolls.
He was on a roll telling his story until someone interupted him - "I think
Jay over there can put your story to shame.."
A few of us are new here at this shop and just getting to know one
another, so none of us had heard Jays tale yet. A few years ago, he was
graced with an incentive ride for earning NCO of the quarter among several
other awards. He was awarded a ride, and after passing a flight physical
and attending a few briefings (including getting your will up to date) the
day arrived and he was all gussied up in his G suit ready to go. The pilot
briefed him on the plan; take off, get acclimated, burn off some fuel and
get over the range where he can stretch it out and show him what an
unladen F-16 can do. They taxied on down, got clearance, and off they went
into the wild blue yonder (...anyone?). About 30 minutes into the ride, Jay
said he couldn't help but notice what felt like a gigantic explosion from
the rear of the plane, accompanied by a myriad of warning lights and
Bitching Betty explaining calmly that they were in real trouble.
For those of you that don't know Bitching Betty, she is the soothing
female computer voice that comes on the headset and gently reminds you of
such conditions as "terrain warning", "warning; hydraulic pressure", and
the favorite "altitude, altitude".
As the pilot contacted the tower to explain the condition, Jay also said
that he couldn't help but hear the familiar sound of a turbine engine
spooling down. Now this is trouble for an F-16, because it has only one
engine and a glide slope of a Corolla. He also heard the the pilot tell
the tower something to the effect of "I have no control surfaces". So
there he is, 17k ft up, motoring along a touch under 350 knots, on fire,
spewing hydraulic fluid with no means to control the machine you're
strapped to. And all because you did a bang up job at your shop.
Well, the pilot comes on and explains that it's serious (really?) and "we
have to go". He reminded Jay to keep his knees together and arms tucked
tight against his abdomen. As explained on the ground he would say the
magic word three times, and if Jay wasn't already gone by then, he would
initiate the sequence for both of them (the front seat handle will blow
the canopy and pop the rear seat first, then the front).
"You ready Jay?"
"Yes sir"
"Eject eject ej-"
Jay said he kind of blacked out from the 15 or so gs he got when the
catapult cleared the cockpit and the under seat rocket fired, but when he
came to (about 1/4 inch shorter) he was drifting gently to earth, survival
kit dangling from his harness, as the plane he was just on smacked Nevada.

So I guess that when you look at the two, the story about ejecting from a
fighter plane is more intense than merely riding in one and then using the
built in tires to contact the earth. But man. What a story.

Thanks, qslim, for the story, the work you do, AND for making me sleep
well at night <g> !

I did my time at Edwards AFB back in the late 70's/early 80's.....the AF
put me through school, and I paid 'em back....lifer status wasn't for
me, though....I was one of those ground-pounder officers who had no
chance of getting ahead because the pilots hogged up the good slots <g>
! We spent more time making sure the general's wife's toilet was
unclogged in their base housing <g>, and that the slab that might have
holes in it was patched up so the glory boys could put those
multi-million $$ airframes back on the ground so you could fix 'em <g>

EAFB was an interesting place....the Eagle was in follow-on testing; the
Falcon was the big dog for testing/support, and there was something
going on that nobody would discuss....in hindsight, I think it was the
Nighthawk/F-117....man, that makes me feel old !

I DID manage to see the very first Space Shuttle return from space,
though....very cool !

Thanks again, for the work you and your coworkers do !

Oh....so I'm not too far OT....my '94 Camry still runs like a champ
(looks like shit, though), except for that weird droning noise at about
40 MPH ! Wheel bearings ? Bad/cheap tires ? Who knows....

Dean....



qslim wrote:

You're spot on about the bananas. One of the pilots here told me the same
thing, he said dry corn pops will do the trick too.